


And even on my darkest day, you are my light

by climbingfish



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 15:12:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7320325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/climbingfish/pseuds/climbingfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These are some one-shots, mini-stories, drabbles, etc... None of the stories necessarily go together (unless otherwise noted). I hope you enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The roster hasn’t been announced, not yet, but it really doesn’t have to be. Jill hasn’t exactly been subtle about who her top 18 are in the past several friendlies and no one is anticipating her changing her ways for the next two games. 

The gals have arrived for their last camp ahead of the Olympics. Ali Krieger arrives late Saturday night post- Spirit match with Crystal in tow. They receive their room assignments and head on up to bed. Ali enters the room quietly, knowing her roommate has already arrived and is probably sleeping as it’s close to 1 AM. Just before she opens the door fully, she sends a quick text off to Ash, letting her know her room number, and to stop by (cuddle) tomorrow morning when she wakes up. To her surprise, Alyssa is awake, staring blankly at the wall ahead of her in the desk chair. It doesn’t look like she has even touched either bed since she arrived, which had to be much earlier in the day. 

“Hey Alys, is everything ok? I thought you’d be sleeping by now. I know I'm about 5 minutes away from falling asleep standing up!” Ali greets her roomie. Alyssa instinctively turns her head towards Ali’s voice and Ali can immediately see that the goal keeper, and more importantly her friend, is crying. 

Ali rushes to her side. “Oh my god, Alyssa, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Alyssa takes a shaky breath and with all her strength responds to Ali. “Don’t you hate me? At least you should hate me.” 

Ali is now thoroughly confused and the possibility that she is actually sleep walking runs through her mind. “Huh? Why on earth would I hate you?”

“I took it away- the dream. The plan. And I don’t deserve it, no more than she does. And I feel so awful about it. And she is happy for me. Like genuinely happy, Al. She texts me encouraging words after Red Stars games- telling me I'm killing it- that she is proud of me!!! Ali, I feel so guilty. It should be her. And I keep waiting for her to explode or to break down or something.” Alyssa rambles on. 

“Alyssa, what is going on?” Ali interrupts, still exhausted and still confused. 

But, Alyssa doesn’t stop. “I keep praying she will hit me. Or ignore me. Or say mean things about me behind my back, but she won’t. And she never will because she’s a good person, like a really good person and I just need you to hate me so maybe, for one second, I won’t feel like a horrible person.”

Ali grabs her hand to try and stop the rambling and asks “who?”. 

For the first time, Alyssa looks right into Ali’s eyes. Ali can see how red they are, like this has been eating at her for some time. She responds quietly, “Ashlyn.”

And then it dawns on Ali. Alyssa feels like she stole Ash’s spot. And if Ash could just be angry about it, Alyssa would feel better. But since Ash is truly the kindest human being either of them has ever known, Alyssa wants Ali to hate her, for Ashlyn. 

Ali has spent a long time, both with Ashlyn and on her own, accepting their fate. Ash never really had a chance at the #2 once Jill decided it was Alyssa’s. Nothing happened, nothing really changed for that matter, but Ash got the flu and that was as good a reason as any for Jill. She told the media and dressed Alyssa, essentially sealing Ashlyn’s fate. Ali hated it. She felt worse on most days than Ash did. But, like everything in their lives, they persevered. As Ashlyn had said, ‘nothing in life compares to us, Al. As long as I have you, I will never need another medal’. 

“Alyssa, I don’t hate you. Ashlyn doesn’t hate you. We both love you and are happy for you” Ali replied genuinely, making Alyssa’s face twist in anguish. Ali continued “Ash keeps saying how fortunate she is to play with Hope and with you, how much she has learned and gotten better.”

“Ali, everyone thinks Hope is the one we look up to. And maybe Ashlyn does because, I mean, she is Hope Solo. But, I, I never looked up to Hope. The keeper that has pushed me, that has taught me more than anyone else, the keeper that has inspired me, Ali, it wasn’t Hope; it’s Ash” Alyssa stated emphatically, still with tears threatening to spill from her tired eyes. “And I want this for her, as much as I want it for me. I ruined your plan, Ali, your dream, and I am so sorry”. 

Ali put a comforting hand on Alyssa’s shoulder and looked her square in the eye. “This had been part of our plan, yes, winning another medal together. Who wouldn’t want that? But, Alyssa, believe me, that is not the dream. The dream is the wedding we are planning. And the house we bought in Florida. And the babies, the hundreds of babies we are going to have together. And waking up each morning next to her, with her arm tight around me. Please just be happy. Let this be your dream. It’s okay that it is.” Ali stated with finality. 

Alyssa smiled, finally, and Ali could see the weight lifting off of her. But then she burst into a fit of laughter. Ali looked at her like she was nuts. “What?” Ali asked inquisitively, a smiling playing on her lips as well. 

“You and Ash are made for each other. She literally has told me that same thing ten times; except she just says a couple of babies, not hundreds. Maybe you two should talk.”


	2. Chapter 2

Ali can hardly believe it as she walked on the pitch for her 100th cap. It doesn’t quite seem possible that she has played 100 games. Sure, she’s been a part of the national team for years, but at the same time, it still feels new. Her 100th cap makes her feel so accomplished, so proud, and so… old as she warms up with 18 year old Mal Pugh. As the final whistle blows, her teammates congratulate her on the feat, a celebration to be held in December, before the second to last game of the Olympics victory tour. 

And within the blink of an eye, she is coordinating airport pickups for her Mom, Dad and brother to attend the special ceremony ahead of the game where she will receive her 100 Krieger jersey. She is giddy with excitement to have her whole family unit together for this; it is a rare occasion her parents are in the same place at the same time these days as they are both remarried and living in separate states. She isn’t bothered by this, not anymore, but she still can’t help but feel like a kid at Christmas. This game is being held in California, one of her favorite places, bringing back good memories of her time shared with her brother, Kyle, when he lived here. Plus, the weather in December simply cannot be beat. 

After a quiet dinner with her family, Ali retreats back to the hotel. As she is entering the lobby she runs quite literally into Tobin. 

“Hey dude, pumped about tomorrow? Did your family get in okay?” Tobin asks with her goofy grin. 

“Yeah, you know I never realized how much this would mean to me, but it feels so special to have my family here. I’m really excited!” Ali replied enthusiastically. 

“Sooooo, um, about tomorrow…” Tobin dragged out slowly. Ali narrows her eyes in confusion and states, “yeah about tomorrow, Tobes… what’s up?”

“Um, look it’s none of my business, really, and I swear she didn’t say anything. Honestly, she is beaming with pride. But, I just, I don’t know, Kriegs, it’s sort of eating away at me and I don’t have the heart to bring it up to her because she, well, I don’t know” Tobin rambled on. 

Ali sticks her hand out, making contact with Tobin’s arm, seemingly grounding her, stopping the stream of consciousness escaping her mouth. “Tobin, what are you talking about buddy?”

Tobin looks around, everything seeming more interesting than making eye contact with Ali. Ali is now a little bit perplexed. Tobin is not one to butt into stuff. She is wise beyond her years and really only speaks up when the spirit, yes the spirit, moves her. 

“Ashlyn” Tobin says quickly. 

“Huh? What, is she okay? Where is she?” Ali asks with immediate concern. She can’t place in her mind why Tobin is talking about Ashlyn right now and her brain automatically begins to worry that something happened to Ash while she was at dinner. 

Now it’s Tobin’s turn to calm Ali. “No, Als, she’s fine. She’s upstairs in HAO’s room I think. I just, well, Ali, I don’t know. She’s Ashlyn and you’re Ali. You guys are Ashlyn and Ali. And I guess I’m just dying to know if you’re going to have her be a part of your ceremony tomorrow. We all are, well, everyone but Ashlyn. Like I said, she hasn’t mentioned it to anyone” Tobin says finally looking into Ali’s eyes. 

“Oh” is all Ali can muster up in reply. Ali feels like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. Tobin is right. They are Ashlyn and Ali. They don’t really exist on their own anymore, which is completely fine with both of them. Their relationship, their love, is what is most important to them. Yes, they choose to be insanely private, but this is a momentous occasion. They don’t do momentous without each other, not if they can help it. And Ali can help it. She can invite Ash out with her parents and brother tomorrow. And even though she is supremely secure in her relationship, the thought of coming out, truly and finally coming out, terrifies her. 

Ali is consumed by her own thoughts, standing frozen in front of Tobin. It’s been at least a full minute without Ali saying anything more than ‘oh’. “Ali, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s none of my business, I’m really sorry” Tobin says and she turns on her heels to go back upstairs. Ali, barely acknowledging her, moves onto a chair in the lobby. She sits down and continues thinking about the game, worry now eating her up. If she asks Ash to come out with her, it’s a statement. And a big one. If she doesn’t, how would Ashlyn feel? What kind of horrible person is Ali that this never crossed her mind? She really hates herself at the moment. 

Ali isn’t sure how long she had been sitting on that chair, but all of a sudden she feels hands on her shoulders. She’d recognize those hands anywhere. They are the hands that make her feel safe, excited, secure, calm, satisfied. After a quick squeeze, Ashlyn is sitting across from her in the other lobby chair. 

“Alex, what’s going on? You’ve been back from dinner for 45 minutes. I know this because you texted me as you got here, remember? And I haven’t seen you. And frankly, I miss you. That seems silly, but it’s true. And you have such a big day tomorrow, I was hoping I could get in some quality hand holding time tonight” Ash says in the only voice in the world that can break Ali from her trance. 

Ali looks into Ashlyn’s sweet, sweet eyes and completely loses it. 

Ashlyn jumps out of her chair, hurdling over the small coffee table and is in front of Ali in a second flat. “Baby, what’s wrong? Please talk to me Alex, what’s going through that beautiful mind? Why are you upset?” Ashlyn whispers in concern, while rubbing calming circles on Ali’s knee. 

“Ash, tomorrow, what do I do?” Ali asks, her voice still laced with sadness. 

“What do you mean? Babe, you walk out, get your flowers, smile that gorgeous smile and kick some ass. It’s really just like any other day, except you get to celebrate with the people you love most” Ashlyn replies, trying to calm her girlfriend, truly unsure as to why this is a problem. 

“Ashlyn, I love you most. What do I do? What do we do?” Ali asks, looking deep into Ashlyn’s eyes. Ash can see the conflict, the pain reflecting back to her. 

“Oh, honey, is that what you’re worried about? Please, don’t worry. I love you, more than life itself. Whether or not I stand with you for one picture does not matter. Do you hear me?” Ash pauses, searching Ali’s eyes for confirmation. When she doesn’t find it, she continues. “How immensely proud I am of you is not contingent on me being a part of a 30 second celebration” Ashlyn says and Ali can feel the love radiating from the words Ashlyn speaks. 

“Ash, I, I…” 

Ashlyn cuts her off, “baby, I'm not going to be a part of it, okay? That’s okay, I’m okay. I’m better than okay, in fact, I’m happy; so happy and so proud of you, my Alex. This is a moment for you. I am so excited to watch from the sideline, okay, honey, I mean it. We have the rest of our lives to be in pictures together. Like, I don’t know, maybe, say some wedding pictures? You’ll definitely want me in those” Ash says teasingly, making Ali smile for the first time since her interaction with Tobin. 

“But, Ash, I love you and I’m proud of you, I’m proud of us” Ali states, taking Ashlyn’s hand. 

“I know, Alex. That’s why all of this is okay, baby” Ashlyn responds earnestly. “Now, Al, can I please take you up to my room and hold you and love on you? Like I said, it’s only been four hours, but I missed you” Ashlyn states as she begins to get up. 

“Yes, please” Ali replies with a true smile, one that reaches her eyes. 

The next day, at lunch, Ali seeks out Tobin. “Hey buddy, I just wanted to apologize for last night” Ali says to Tobin as she sits down next to her with her plate. 

“No, Kriegy, I’m sorry. I overstepped” Tobin responds. 

“She’s not going to be in the picture, Tobes. We talked about it and we decided together. And I love her and she loves me and she is still the most important person in my life, but right now, well, it just still doesn’t feel like the right time, ya know?” Ali rambles. 

Tobin just smiles and says “Of course I know, Kriegs, everyone knows. You two are the best. I’m really happy for you, today is a big day!” Tobin stands, clasping Ali’s shoulder as she goes up to the buffet to grab more juice. 

Ali finds herself being called up from the line by Jill, indicating the ceremony is going to begin. She sees Kyle smiling from ear to ear, behind him, her Dad looking prouder than ever. She panics for a moment until she spots her mom, standing a bit off to the side, hugging Ashlyn; her Ashlyn. All of a sudden they are walking towards her, her family, the people who have supported her through thick and thin. She gets three bone crushing hugs, but feels an overwhelming sense of longing wash over her. Before she can even think about what she is doing, she throws the flowers in Kyle’s arms and her feet are moving quickly towards the bench. Ashlyn looks like a deer in headlights, discreetly shaking her head no. Ali doesn’t care. She reaches her hand out towards Ashlyn, knowing Ash will take it. She would never let her down, not now, not ever. After a few steps, Ashlyn is standing right next to Ali, with her family, Ali still holding onto her hand. They smile for the photo and just like that, the ceremony is over. One more hug to Kyle, Deb and Ken, a hand off of flowers and the jersey and they are gone, whisked off the field. And there she stands, facing Ashlyn. Ash whispers into Ali “baby, you didn’t need to do that, but, thank you. Thank you so much. I, I didn’t realize how much it would mean to me”.

As Ash backs away a bit, Ali can see her face has split into an earth-shattering smile, that dimple on full display. Ali feels overwhelmed by how much she loves the woman in front of her and how happy she is that, well, Ashlyn is happy. It’s always been the simple things for both of them. A lazy morning, a good cup of coffee, the sound of seagulls by the ocean; but for Ali, seeing that dimple has always been the reason for the peace in her soul. She reaches both hands out, settling them on Ashlyn’s shoulders. She pulls her in, placing a quick peck on her lips. She feels a jolt of electricity run through her body. She has never felt freer, loving the woman she loves for all to see. What has always terrified her is now the reason for her serenity. 

Ash looks a bit shocked, but only for a second. Ali stares into her eyes and can see the love, the excitement, the pride Ashlyn feels for her, for them. 

“I love you, Al, go kick some ass” Ashlyn states, pulling Ali into a quick hug, ending with a tap on the butt that lingers for just a second longer than it should have. 

“I love you, too, Ash, so much”. 

After the team huddle, Ali walks out onto the pitch. She feels a bony arm land across her shoulders. 

“You two really are the best, Kriegs” Tobin states again with that goofy grin across her face. Ali can’t help but smile in return, knowing just how right she is.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a particularly hard night for Ali. The Spirit had conceded their first match of the year with a disappointing score line and even more disheartening performance. But more than anything, the real knife to the heart was the phone call she had just had with her girlfriend. She knew how hard Ashlyn had been taking her Grandma being sick again, but on this Sunday evening, all Ali could hear on the phone was heartache, no matter how hard Ash had tried to mask it. Nothing made her feel more like throwing up than imagining the love of her life sad and alone. So, she made a couple calls. 

It was well past midnight in Florida when she put her key into the door of their home. Ash tends to sleep like a rock so she knew if she was quiet enough she could just sneak into bed and hold her keeper all night, a thought that still gave her butterflies, even after all these years. She entered the dark kitchen and shrieked as she literally walked straight into Ashlyn who held a Doc Marten in her hands. Ash dropped her weapon and took a step back to make sure her eyes weren’t deceiving her. Within ten seconds she had scooped Ali up into the biggest, tightest hug, peppering kisses into her hair. 

“Alex, baby, what are you doing here? I love that you’re here, but you scared me half to death” Ash exclaimed. 

“I really wanted to see Mama, and I really, really wanted to see you. I just couldn’t go one more night without holding you” Ali responded. 

With that, Ash pulled her into a breathtaking kiss that made both of their heads spin. Ash pulled away and looked into Ali’s eyes, sporting the biggest lovesick grin Ali had ever seen on her partner. 

“Marry me” Ash whispered. 

“What?” Ali whispered back in shock. 

“Shit, no Al, I didn’t mean that” Ashlyn responded quickly. 

“What?” Ali responded with her eye brows raised, voice much louder than before. 

“Wait, oh god, no, Alex, of course I meant it, but not like this. I was just overwhelmed by how much I love you and when I saw you my heart just about burst out of my chest. And I want to marry you; you know that, more than anything in this world. But, you deserve the grand gesture, the plan I’ve been working on for six months now. You deserve that and I’m sorry I let my heart speak first this time.” Ashlyn rambled to Ali, not quite making eye contact. 

“Yes” Ali stated. 

“No, baby, no. I will ask you, I promise. And it’ll be soon. But I want to ask you the way you want to be asked. So we have a story to tell our kids. And you’ll be surprised as I drop down on my knee, maybe even gasping with a hand covering your mouth. And I’ll probably cry as I ask you, something you can make fun of me for on our 50th wedding anniversary. Baby, you deserve that proposal. Not me asking you at one in the morning in a dark kitchen.” Ash replied emphatically. 

Ali grabbed Ashlyn’s face gently between her two hands. “Ashlyn Harris, my answer is yes. I thought I wanted the big to-do. But I don’t. I don’t care. I love you and you love me and that is all that matters. You asked. And I answered.” Ali said sealing her declaration with a kiss on Ashlyn’s lips. “Well, my answer does depend on one thing actually” Ali continued with a sparkle in her eye, a sparkle that Ash couldn’t miss, even in the dark. 

“What’s that?” Ash asked. 

“A diamond” Ali replied giddily!

Ash broke from their embrace and paddled quickly into their bedroom. Ali then heard that back porch door open and shut. Within a minute Ashlyn was back in the kitchen, turning the lights on low. She approached Ali with a tulip pulled straight from the planter on the deck. Ali accepted the flower happily. Ash held Ali’s left hand and dropped to her knee. Even though Ali knew this was coming, having practically demanded it on this late night, she still gasped and felt the butterflies return to her stomach. 

“Alex, you are everything to me; my support, my encouragement, my inspiration. You make me so deliriously happy that I forget sometimes other people even exist on this planet. I love you with my whole heart now and forever. You’re my world, baby, and I will work for the rest of life to give you everything you deserve. Will you, please, pretty please, marry me?” Ash asked. 

Ali had never seen Ashlyn look as beautiful as she poured her heart out, simply yet eloquently. She stated without hesitation, “yes”. 

Ashlyn slid the gorgeous ring onto Ali’s finger. Ali couldn’t spend another moment without being in Ashlyn’s strong arms. She kneeled down, enveloping Ash in a hug and initiating a deep kiss. In one swift motion, Ashlyn picked Ali up and carried her into their bedroom, repeating over and over again how much she loves her. 

The next morning as Ali woke up, she took a moment to look at Ashlyn, her fiancé, still sleeping peacefully with a protective arm draped across her stomach. Ali had never felt so much peace in her life. She quickly grabbed her phone and pulled up the video camera. She focused it on Ashlyn’s face and began to stroke Ash’s cheek and hairline with her left hand, ring on full display. As Ashlyn began to stir, before even opening her eyes, an enormous grin appeared on her face. With her eyes still closed, she pulled Ali’s hand down onto her lips and smothered her hand with kisses. Ali goofily put a finger in Ashlyn’s ear forcing the blonde to open her eyes, as they both shared a quiet laugh. 

Ashlyn realized Ali had her phone open. “Baby, what are you doing?” Ash asked softly. 

“Just recording our engagement announcement” Ali answered nonchalantly. 

Ash made an amused expression and smiled into the camera as she moved to kiss Ali square on the mouth. 

“Okay. I love you” Ash responded groggily, sleep still evident in her voice. Ali giggled as she continued recording, knowing Ash wouldn’t care who saw this video or how the engagement was announced (also feeling lucky Ash actually had a shirt on). She knew, after all these years, that Ash has only ever cared about being with Ali. The thought alone made Ali’s heart swell. 

Ash quickly turned her back in the bed, but bent her arm back reaching for Ali. “But first, cuddle me” Ash said. 

Ali finally stopped her video, placing her phone back on the bedside table, and immediately snuggled into Ash, feeling the warmth of her love radiating into her. With Ash by her side, Ali knew she, no they, would get through anything. And she couldn’t wait for their next adventure. She truly was on top of the world.


	4. Chapter 4

Ali is shuffling quickly back to her room- the last friendly before the Olympics is tomorrow and she can’t shake this odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. Maybe its nerves, maybe its anticipation, but all she wants right now is a long shower and to curl up in her warm bed with a magazine. She arrives at her door, but before she can get the key out of her bag, she hears a quick ‘Krieger, over here’. She turns to find the face to match the voice calling her and that feeling in her stomach intensifies as she looks at a stone-cold Jill Ellis waving her over towards a couple of chairs. Ali quickly walks to her coach, trying to swallow down the dread she feels rising through her chest. 

“Hey, Krieger, good work today. Look, I want to talk to you about Rio. As you know, the choice I’ve had to make regarding the roster has not been easy” Jill delivers matter-of-factly, searching Ali’s eyes for understanding, something at the moment Ali cannot give her. 

Jill soldiers on stating, “Well, anyway, I made my choice and I let the alternates know about an hour ago”. Jill sticks her hand out towards Ali. 

Ali, before moving to take what Jill is attempting to give her, asks “are you cutting me?” 

“No, Ali, this is a key to room 302. I made a switch for the night. I’ve already let Morgan and Crystal know. They’ve moved your stuff” Jill replies as she gets up and places the key into Ali’s lap. She gives her a quick squeeze on the shoulder and begins moving towards the elevators. 

Room 302: Ash’s room. Ali immediately jogs down the hall, inserting the key. As she steps in, she hears the shower water running. Whenever Ashlyn is feeling overwhelmed, and doesn’t want anyone to see her crying, she takes a shower. Ali quickly disrobes and opens the door to the bathroom. Listening really closely, she can hear the quiet sobs coming from the shower stall; with each ragged breath, Ali’s heart breaks a little more. She steps into the shower and strongly wraps her arms around Ash before anyone can get scared and slip. Ash turns around to look Ali in the eye. 

“I shouldn’t be this upset Alex, we knew this was coming. It just hurts. Everything hurts right now and I don’t know what to do”. 

“Oh baby”, Ali responds, hugging Ash tighter, grabbing the washcloth from Ashlyn’s hand. “Let me take care of you, okay?” 

Ash complies, too weak at the moment to fight anyone on anything. Ali makes quick work of washing Ashlyn’s whole body, spending a couple extra minutes massaging her tight shoulders. She moves to shampoo and within a couple minutes, turns off the water and leads Ash into the bedroom, wrapping her in a fuzzy robe. 

“I’m so sorry, Alex. I disappointed you. I’m so sorry, baby, I really am” Ashlyn whispers, sounding more and more defeated with every syllable. 

“Ashlyn Harris, stop that right now. You have not disappointed me. You make me proud every single day” Ali responded emphatically. 

“Alex, I, I, I’m not good enough. It’s over for me. And I knew that. I mean, Jill practically told me in October. But, I was stupid, and I held out hope. I shouldn’t have because now I'm crushed, which really just shows, ugh I don’t know” Ash states solemnly, rubbing her hands over her face. 

“Babe, do you know all the reasons I love you?” Ali asks. 

“Huh?” Ash grunts out, her eye brows scrunching together in confusion. 

“You are strong, and compassionate, and kind, yes. And you’re loyal, and humble and smart. You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. You make me laugh and you challenge me and you push me to be better each day. You’re open and honest and trust worthy, of course. You work harder than everyone else and you love me so fiercely I have never questioned us. Because of you, I am a better person. Your arms are where I feel most safe and your smile is the reason for my happiness. But, baby, what I love most about you, is that you always hold onto hope. In the darkest day, you find the light. You live in a land of optimism, which is the most beautiful land to exist. Ashlyn, you are the good in the world. I’m not disappointed you missed the roster. I’m not disappointed you’re an alternate. I’m not disappointed in you at all. I am so immensely proud of you, the person you are, the hope you cling to. You’re my rock, Ash. And, selfishly, I need to see that smile, so you need to believe me. You are everything but a disappointment. Please believe me” Ali states without hesitation, barely taking a breath. 

“Okay” Ashlyn states with a smile playing on her lips. 

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say, Ash?” Ali asks more teasingly than anything else. She is so connected to Ashlyn she already knows deep down that Ashlyn is beginning to heal, to move on. 

“Yes, Alex, that’s it. I believe you. I always believe you” Ash says, pulling Ali into a long kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

“What?!” Alex exclaims loudly, too loudly for Ashlyn’s liking, exiting the locker room from practice. 

“Shhhh, keep it down Morgan, this is supposed to be a surprise” Ashlyn responds quickly. 

“Oh my god, okay, yeah, you’re right, I'm sorry, I just can’t believe it! I mean I can, but like…. FINALLY” Alex replies. “Ash, this has literally been five years in the making!” 

Ashlyn replies with a chuckle, “It really has, hasn’t it?”

“So, how are you going to do it? Are you nervous?” Alex asks.

As Ash begins to respond with the plans she was considering, Alex grabs her arm and shrieks yet again, “the ring, oh my god, the ring! Let me see it!”

“Well I'm not carrying it around with me everywhere, Alex. I can’t afford to lose it, literally” Ash replies evenly, hoping to yet again calm her friend. 

“You at least have to have a picture. Show me it” Alex demands. 

“Um, I actually don’t have a picture. Ali and I share the cloud and I really don’t know what the means, so I didn’t want to risk it” Ash responds sheepishly. 

“Awww, you’re so cute Ashy. Ali is a lucky, lucky girl” Alex says. “Okay, so let’s get coffee and you tell me everything!”

Two cups of coffee later and a plan devised, Ashlyn feels really confident on her way home, humming along to the radio. Ash has had the ring for over a year, always waiting on the right moment. She really wanted to give Ali the world, but quickly realized there would never be a “perfect moment”. She would have to manufacture one to give the love of her life the proposal of her dreams. It was officially in the books- she would pop the question her birthday weekend in October. The NWSL would be over, there may be a victory tour, but she and Ali would definitely have some alone time. And since Ashlyn typically loved celebrating her birthday, Ali would never suspect a thing. Before she even realized it, she was pulling into her garage; the journey home went fast, full of exciting plans for the future. She opens her door, enters the kitchen and screams. 

“Alex, oh my god, what are you doing here?!”

“Well, I flew in to surprise the love of my life, only to find out she was having a leisurely lunch with another woman” Ali teases dramatically, while simultaneously pulling Ash into a tight hug and breath-stealing kiss. 

“Oh baby, it’s so good to see you. I am so happy you’re here” Ashlyn says while peppering kisses all over Ali’s face, causing her to giggle.

“Well, let’s make the most of this, huh? Why don’t you show me how happy you are” Ali says suggestively as she pulls on Ash’s collar, leading her to the bedroom. 

The next morning, Ash has to attend her last Pride practice before the national team camp in Denver, so she makes a quick breakfast for Ali, serves it with a kiss and goes on her way. A couple hours later, Ash returns home to find a sparkling house- Ali had obviously gone to work, cleaning every inch of the place. Ash smiles to herself, knowing Ali can’t sit still for too long, and begins the search for her girlfriend. She rounds the corner into the bedroom and finds Ali sitting on the bed crying. Ashlyn immediately rushes over to Ali to comfort her and see what was making her so upset. As she pulls Ali into a hug, she finds the opened engagement ring box sitting next to her. 

“Als, what happened here?” Ashlyn asks as nicely as possible, trying to quell the anxiety and the anger within her. 

“Oh my god, Ash, I am so sorry. I was just putting your laundry away and I found this with your socks, and you know how much it bothers me that you never pair your socks. So I was putting the socks together and folding them up, and then I found this. And I know I shouldn’t have opened it, but I couldn’t help myself. And it’s so beautiful and I put it on. Ash, oh my god, I put it on. And I ruined everything. I ruined your proposal and I am so sorry.” Ali cries to Ash, barely catching a breath. 

“Wait, Alex, you’re crying because you think you ruined the proposal? Not because you don’t like the ring, or worse, you don’t want me to propose?” Ash asks, concern dripping in her voice. 

“What? Ash, oh my god, I love the ring and I love you. And obviously my answer is yes, I mean I want to marry you more than anything. And I ruined it and I am so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry” Ali rambles, getting hysterical again, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Ash can only chuckle at the response. “Baby, you didn’t ruin anything. As long as you plan on saying yes, Al, the proposal isn’t ruined” Ash responds with a huge smile on her face. 

“You’re not mad at me? You aren’t going to return the ring?” Ali asks sadly.

“Oh babe, of course not. It’s been over a year, I think I lost the receipt anyway” Ash responds cheekily. 

Ali finally takes a deep breath and pulls Ashlyn in for a long kiss. As they break away, both overcome with lust, Ash reaches for the ring. 

“I will propose to you. It’s all planned, babe, it is coming” Ash says finishing her statement with a quick kiss. 

“Ash, um, you know since I’ve seen, uh, do you think… no, never mind. Okay” Ali mumbles.

“Al, what is it?” Ash asks. Ali dips her head in return, a blush spreading up her neck to her cheeks. 

“Oh my god, Alex!” Ash exclaims

“Baby, no. Stop, I can wait. I will wait, I’d wait forever. I’ll be surprised and it’ll go off without a hitch” Ali states emphatically. 

“Well, since I’m already on one knee, Alex, I need to ask you a question. It’s pretty important” Ash says as she opens the box in her hand. 

“Ash, honey, follow your plan. I don’t want to ruin the proposal any more than I already have. Please!” Ali says, moving to get up, but Ash traps her back on the bed. 

“I love you, Alexandra. I love you so much it consumes me. Our love has made me feel things I never thought I could, it has changed me in the best way possible and it has settled me. Your eyes are my solace and your smile is my home. I can’t imagine my life without you, which is sort of the point of this whole thing. Marry me and spend your life with me. I promise I will work every single day to make it worth it” Ash states with all the passion and love she can muster. 

Ali has tears in her eyes, her smile so big, all her teeth are display. “Yes, baby, you’re my life. Yes!” Ali responds. 

Ash slides the ring on Ali’s finger. “Phew, I'm so glad it fits… it’s almost like you tried it on already!” Ashlyn jokes, which makes Ali burst into laughter. 

“I love you, Ash. Thank you for making me so happy and loving me through it all” Ali states while pulling Ashlyn on top of her onto the bed.

“You’re the reason I breathe, Alex. I’ll love you forever.” Ash replies, sealing her declaration with a kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

“Harris” Jill yells across the field, signaling for the keeper to make her way over. Ashlyn jogs the short distance over to her coach. 

“Hi Coach, what’s up?” Ash asks. 

“Don’t be alarmed, Ash, ok?” Jill warns, which does nothing to quell the nervous feeling invading Ashlyn’s stomach. 

“Okay, Coach, what’s going on?” Ashlyn responds as calmly as she can. 

“Ali collapsed during a weight session. She came to rather quickly but she seemed pretty out of it. The ambulance just left with her” Jill states so matter-of-factly that it takes all of Ashlyn’s self-control not to shake her. 

“Which hospital? How can I get there?” Ashlyn immediately responds. 

“There’s a car waiting for you out front. Get on with it” Jill says as Ashlyn has already begun sprinting towards the front of the building, only quickly grabbing her bag with her phone and ID. 

Ashlyn makes the 15 minute drive to the hospital and the car drops her at the emergency room entrance. She strides inside and lands at the front desk in a matter of seconds. 

“Hi, I'm here for Alexandra Krieger. She was just brought it, she collapsed at training today. She was conscious when the ambulance arrived, I think, but I, I need to see her. I need to see her now. She’s probably really scared and I just need to see her. Please” Ashlyn rattles off quickly. 

The young woman at the front desk can’t help but feel a bit of pity for Ashlyn. “Normally, ma’am, we don’t let anyone go back there until the patient is moved to a room. You’re a teammate, I assume?” 

“Uh, yes, I'm on her team, but she’s much more than a teammate to me, um, she’s my…” Ashlyn rambles, but is cut off by the front desk lady. 

“I think it’ll be okay, just this once. She is in bed 6; make sure you announce yourself before you enter, in case a nurse or doctor is in there with her. Okay?” 

“Thank you, thank you so much!” Ashlyn replies as she is moving towards the hospital beds. When she arrives to bed six, she peers through the curtain and says Ali’s name out loud. She enters and sees Ali hooked up to an IV, with her eyes closed towards the small window to the left. 

“Alex, baby, are you alright?” Ash prods gently and she moves towards her girlfriend’s bed. 

Ali whips her head around, a smile playing at her lips that moment she hears Ash’s voice. 

“Hi babe, yeah I'm okay, I don’t know what happened though. I was fine, until, all of a sudden, I was on the ground. It was scary waking up confused again. It reminded me of Houston, except I couldn’t find you” Ali whispers, pain evident in her head as she squints her eyes towards Ashlyn. 

“I’m so sorry honey, I'm right here. You’re okay; you’re going to be okay. You know why, right?” Ash asks lightly. 

“Because you need me” Ali responds clasping their hands together as Ash sits on the bed. 

“Exactly, Al. Because I need you” Ash confirms. 

Ashlyn begins rubbing Ali’s legs then she moves to her arms. She comforts Ali by playing with her hair and whispering sweet melodies into her ears as she holds Ali in the stiff hospital bed. Finally, Ash thinks, after over half an hour, a doctor walks in. 

“Miss. Krieger?” the doctor asks. Ashlyn begins to move off of the bed so the doctor can better assess Ali’s condition, but Ali’s hand stops her. Ash remains by her side. 

“So we ran your blood panels, and it seems like you were severely dehydrated. I assume you’ve been traveling quite a bit, maybe not sleeping enough, eating right? All of those things stress the body and the dehydration would explain the fatigue and fainting spell. We’ll finish this IV up, which will help balance your levels and I will send you on your way.” The doctor states simply, like this wasn’t a traumatic event. 

He then turns to Ashlyn, making eye contact. “Keep an eye on her. She will need to drink close to double the recommended amount of liquids for the next couple days to help her body recover. Plenty of rest, no physical activity and no stress. Three to five solid meals a day. If she feels better in a week, she’s good to resume normal activity. Got it?” the doctor asks Ashlyn. 

“Got it- I’ll take expert care of her, don’t worry” Ashlyn responds while pulling Ali in closer. 

“I’m not worried. Nice to meet you both- go USA” he finishes as he walks out of the makeshift room. 

“Oh my god Ash, I am so embarrassed. I’m a professional athlete, how could I let me body get dehydrated?” Ali whines into Ashlyn. 

“Baby, it happens, don’t worry about it. Let’s just focus on getting you better” Ash replies, with a kiss to Ali’s forehead. 

As they leave the hospital, Ali is already feeling better. Ashlyn asks the driver to pull over into a CVS. She runs in quickly, grabbing two cases of water, some electrolyte tablets, a package of protein bars and a couple of Ali’s favorite magazines. Ali, as she looks through the bags when Ashlyn gets back, knows that Ashlyn will be a strict nurse. But they’ve done this before- they’ve both suffered injuries in their relationships. And they both have agreed many times that the one who isn’t hurt actually feels more pain. There is nothing like seeing the person you love most in the world lying on the ground. Ali knows that Ash will time how much she sleeps, force water down her throat and monitor her meals (definitely not allowing chocolate for a while). She knows that she will follow her around and badger her with questions. But Ali will take it all in stride. She will listen to Ashlyn; she will comply with her requests. Because she knows, more than anything else, that Ashlyn loves her. And that she needs her to be okay.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been three months since they broke up. After the World Cup loss, Ali had changed, she let the failure overtake her and she pushed Ashlyn away. She loved Ashlyn, but she was scared. She was scared of what coming out meant, of what it could do to her career. She said horrible things. She broke Ashlyn’s heart, and frankly she broke her own. She thought they weren’t in deep enough yet for the end to be something they couldn’t overcome. She was wrong. 

She replays it all, every awful thing she said, every look of hurt, confusion and pain she saw on Ashlyn’s face, as she enters the hotel. She needs to find Ashlyn. She needs to tell her she’s sorry, that she didn’t mean it, that she loved her then, that she loves her now and that she will always love her, with everything she has.   
She is so consumed in her own thoughts that she walks quite literally into Whitney. Of all the people to run into, Ali thinks, it has to be Ash’s best friend. 

“Hi Ali” Whitney says politely, not an ounce of bite in her voice- the opposite of how Ali anticipated the conversation starting.

“Hi Whit” Ali replies timidly, playing with her fingernails, shifting back and forth on the balls of her feet, eyes darting all around Whitney. 

“Look, Ali… she’s here. And she would be so mad if she knew I was telling you this, but I have to. She’s my best friend and she’s such a good person and she deserves the world, so I’m going to tell you this. And what I tell you will leave you with two choices. And once you decide, that’s it. No going back. Okay?” Whitney rambles as she ushers Ali over to the side of the hotel, out of the way of nosy ears. 

“Okay” Ali says hopefully. 

“You hurt her, Ali. You hurt her to the point that I really wasn’t sure if she would be able to come to camp. She thought about passing on this to avoid you, because she’s scared. She’s scared seeing you will only make it hurt more. I convinced her to come, promising that I wouldn’t let you near her. And I won’t, Ali, I won’t if you choose option number one” Whitney states emphatically.

“Okay, um, what are the options?” Ali asks timidly, already trying to stop the tears from falling, hearing how hurt Ashlyn is. 

“Option one- you’re still unsure. You still feel whatever pressure you felt before and you can’t commit to her. You stand by the breakup because it’s the best you can do. And Ali, it’s okay if it’s this choice, I just need to know” Whitney says

“What’s option two?” Ali asks, barely acknowledging what Whitney said. 

“Option two- you choose her” Whitney says looking Ali in the eye. 

“Two” Ali says quickly “Option two, always option two”. 

“Ali, this means you’re all in. No changing your mind, no getting scared, no more running. Okay?” Whitney says sternly. 

“Yes” Ali whisper out, the tears now rolling down her face. This is the first time she has felt hope in three months. This is the first time she can actually take a breath. 

“Room 204. She’s in there. Don’t screw this up or she’ll never forgive either of us” Whitney says as she hands over the key card to Ali. 

Ali grabs the key, while profusely thanking Whitney and runs towards the stairs. She sprints up, lugging her bags behind her. She arrives at Ashlyn’s room and takes a breath. She’s not sure what to say, but she is sure she needs to see Ash’s face. She inserts the key and slowly opens the door. 

“Whit, where did you go?” Ash’s voice rings softly through the room. Ali can see her bending over her suitcase, back facing the door. When Ali doesn’t answer, Ash begins to speak again while turning to face her. 

“Alex” Ash whispers, shock registering on her face quickly before it turns to anger, to hurt. 

“Ash, please hear me out for just one second” Ali requests

“I, I don’t think so, Ali. I think you should go” Ash responds shakily. 

“No, I, I can’t” Ali says and she moves towards Ashlyn. Ash instinctively backs away from Ali, this simple step cutting Ali to the core. 

“I made a mistake, a mistake I regret more than anything in the world, Ashlyn. I was scared and stupid and I was a coward. And if I could go back in time, I would never have walked away. Ashlyn, I don’t know much, but I know that I love you” Ali says with all the conviction she can muster, trying to look Ashlyn in the eyes, but Ash is staring intently at her shoes. She doesn’t hear a response, so she continues. 

“Ash, do you remember the last thing you said to me?” Ali asks quietly. Ash simply nods. She nods so discreetly Ali almost misses it. 

“You asked me why I couldn’t just choose you” Ali says “and you know what Ash, I do. I'm sorry it took so long, but I do.”

With that, Ashlyn looks up, her eyes brimming with tears, pain evident across her face. She looks so small, so helpless. Ali takes another step towards her, this time Ashlyn stays rooted in place. 

“I choose you, Ash. I choose our love, our life together. I am so sorry and I will forever be sorry that we lost these past months, but Ash? I. Choose. You.” Ali states as she continues walking towards her. 

“Do you choose me too?” Ali asks timidly, so scared that the answer will be no. 

And again, Ali sees it. Ashlyn nods. Ash quickly closes the distance between them and pulls Ali into a bone-crushing hug. 

“I will always choose you, Alex” Ashlyn responds. 

They had a lot to work out, many painful conversations over the next several months. They quickly faced another hurdle as Ali recovered from her ACL tear, but they never faltered. They continued to choose each other, to choose their future together, to choose happiness each day. 

Over six years from that moment in the hotel, Ali and Ashlyn stand before their family and friends to become wives. They elected to write their own vows. As Ashlyn goes first, Ali can’t help but smile at the simple words Ashlyn had written to represent their lives together, their sacred marriage. 

“I choose you, Alex. I chose you yesterday, I choose you today and I will choose you tomorrow. Always” Ashlyn says with a squeeze to Ali’s hand and a subtle wink. 

It’s not lost on Ali, as she begins to state her vows, how connected they are. 

“I choose you too, Ashlyn, today and every day. I choose you” Ali says as she kisses her bride, binding their marriage for eternity.


	8. Chapter 8

“Hello?” Alex answers her phone. She quickly notes the time and begins to worry. It’s just after 5 AM on a Sunday. 

“Alex, oh my god, oh my god, I need your help!” Ali frantically whispers on the other end of the phone. 

“Ali, what’s going on? Are you okay? Is Ash okay?” Alex croaks out, sleep still evident in her voice. Alex quickly moves out of bed to another room in the hopes of not waking Servando, or worse, Blue. 

“I can’t find it, Alex. She’s going to notice right away. And I can’t find it. I’ve looked everywhere. I faked sleep when we got home until she was out and I spent all night tearing the house apart with a flashlight. It’s gone. Please tell me I left it at your house last night” Ali pleads into the phone. 

“Ali, take a breath. What did you lose? I can look for it” Alex states calmly. 

“My engagement ring” Ali chokes out through a sob. 

“Oh crap, that’s not good. Okay, Ali, let me look. We ate in the dining room. You helped me in the kitchen. We didn’t go anywhere else. I’ll check there and the bathroom and the sofa, even though I don’t think you sat on it. Ali, when was the last time you remember having it on?” Alex asks.

“I don’t remember, I can’t remember. I have been going over and over it in my mind and I can’t remember. Oh my god, she is going to divorce me” Ali says with tears running down her cheeks. 

Alex can only laugh at that. “Al, trust me, she’ll be mad if we can’t find it, but come on, it’s Ashlyn. She loves you. She’ll moan about it, but this is certainly not divorce-worthy” Alex replies, leaving out the part that they aren’t even married yet, making a divorce impossible. 

“Okay, I’m going to check the front yard again. I really hope she sleeps in today. Thank you, Alex, for helping” Ali says as she hangs up. 

Two hours later, Alex has reported back to Ali that she has tossed her entire place and has come up empty. Ali groans loudly, but continues her search throughout their house. She is so frantically checking the couch cushions, for the 100th time, she doesn’t even hear Ashlyn come up behind her.

“Morning, beautiful” Ash says, wiping the sleep from her eyes. 

“Ash, hi! Hi, honey, why don’t you go outside and I’ll bring you some coffee?” Ali replies too quickly and certainly too loudly for Ashlyn’s freshly woken-up state. 

“What happened, Al?” Ashlyn deadpans, knowing that something is up. The house is in disarray, her fiancé looks exhausted and it’s raining. Why would they go outside?

“Nothing, sweetie, nothing happened. I love you, I just want you to enjoy our day off” Ali says enthusiastically as she turns towards the windows, gesturing to what she imagined would be sun. Her face falls as she sees the rain steadily coming down against their floor-to-ceiling windows. She loses it in that moment. 

Ash catches Ali before she falls to the ground, but can’t understand a word Ali is saying as she sobs into her shoulder. 

After several minutes, and a couple calming back rubs, Ali looks into Ashlyn’s eyes. “I lost my ring Ash, I can’t find it. I have looked everywhere. I don’t even know how this happened. I never take it off, ever, and I am so sorry. Please still marry me” Ali cries. 

“Oh honey, please tell me you have not been up all night looking for your ring” Ash pleads.

“I have, I'm sorry but I can’t find it” Ali says, a new set of tears threatening to spill. Ashlyn quickly wipes them away and kisses her soundly. 

“Baby, I have your ring” Ashlyn states quietly, concern written on her face. 

“What? You have my ring? Where is it?” Ali asks, moving slightly out of Ashlyn’s grip. 

“You must have taken it off when you helped Alex with the dishes last night. I noticed it next to the sink when I was saying goodbye to Blue and I grabbed it. I must’ve forgotten to tell you. I'm sorry, baby, that you went through all of this trouble. Why didn’t you just tell me you misplaced it?” Ash says.

“Where is it Ash?” Ali asks again and Ashlyn simply holds up her left hand. She put the ring on last night, since she was out the door after Ali. The only place Ali didn’t think to look was on Ashlyn’s hand. 

Ali breaks down again. “Oh thank god. Ash, I thought it was gone forever and that you were going to divorce me over it. I love that ring. And it means so much to both of us and I know how expensive it must have been. I am so sorry I just left it next to Alex’s sink” Ali hugs Ashlyn tight as her body is wracked with sobs. 

“Babe, babe, it’s completely okay. I should have remembered to tell you I had it. I don’t know how I forgot with this enormous rock weighing my hand down. I think we were both just so tired last night, I passed out when we got home” Ashlyn apologizes cheekily. Her face turns serious again, “but honey, it’s just a ring.”

“I’m so sorry baby” Ali says again, as her tears begin to dry. Ali moves off of Ashlyn’s lap and Ash takes this moment to get down on one knee, again. She grabs Ali’s hand. 

“Alex, my beautiful, beautiful, Alex, I love you. I love you more than anything in this world, especially a silly ring. But, this ring here, it serves as a reminder of the best day of my life- the day that you agreed to be with me forever. Will you please wear it again?” Ash asks with a huge smirk on her face. 

Ali can only launch herself into Ash’s arms, nodding her head, and sealing her answer with a kiss. Once the ring is returned to its rightful owner, Ash leads Ali back to the bedroom. 

“Babe, you need to get some sleep now. We’ve maxed out our quota for tears this month, so let’s relax a little. And then when you wake up, if you want, we can grab some coffee on the patio in the rain” Ash replies slyly, only barely dodging the soft slap Ali throws her way. 

“Ugh, Ashlyn, I love you so much” Ali says pulling Ashlyn under the covers with her. “By the way, we should probably take Alex out to brunch or something… she had an early wake-up call today”.


	9. Chapter 9

She walks slowly towards the car, replaying every moment of the game in her head. She’s feeling down over the loss, upset with her own performance and something else, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Before she could get too wrapped up in her own feelings, she is greeted with a quiet ‘hi’. 

“Hi babe” Ash responds dejectedly. 

“It’s just one game, Ash. You almost had them. You’ve been their biggest challenge this year- don’t let it consume you” Ali replies lovingly, while opening Ash’s driver-side door. 

Once situated in the car, Ash replies “I know, I just hate the way that I played. Those goals are completely on me.”

Ali lets out a small sigh. “You know they weren’t on you, but I get why you feel like that. Let’s mourn it for the ride and then take a long shower, eat some dinner and enjoy our night. Okay?”

Ashlyn can only nod in response. Ali moves her hand towards the center console and Ash grabs it immediately, letting out the shaky breath she had been holding. 

By the time they are washing the dishes, Ashlyn is back to shaking her hips to the music they have playing through their house. She wraps her arm around Ali and leads her to the patio where she continues to dance with her girl. As they sway to the beat, Ashlyn leans down into Ali’s ear and shares her secret. 

“I know why I felt so crappy after the game today” Ash says as she pauses. Ali looks up, urging her to continue. 

“I was embarrassed. I just wanted to play well for you. And today, and our game a couple weeks ago, those have been my worst. I just felt so embarrassed” Ash finishes. 

Ali halts their movements, but doesn’t move her hands from Ashlyn’s. “Babe, I’m proud of you. Whether you earn ten clean sheets or concede ten goals, I am so proud of you. I hope you know that and that I make you feel how proud I truly am” Ali states earnestly, moving her face closer to Ashlyn’s. 

“I know, I swear I do. I just wanted to win for you” Ashlyn says almost in a whisper.

“I think you’re cute- how you wanted to win for me” Ali says, moving to her tippy toes to crash their lips together. 

“Win or lose, at least you know you’re going to score” Ali says teasingly, moving quickly inside, only to have Ash chase immediately behind her. 

The next morning, as they wake up tangled with each other, Ash looks over and smiles. She knows, right there in that moment, no matter what happens, she has everything she will ever need.


	10. Chapter 10

“ASHLYN” Ali yells as she throws the door open, scaring Ashlyn half to death. 

“What? Babe, what? Are you okay?” Ash asks as she runs over to Ali, quickly looking her up and down for injury. 

“There are three puppies outside our door, Ashlyn Harris, did you have something to do this?” Ali asks with a look of suspicion on her face. 

“What? Puppies? Where?” Ash asks as she bounds outside in search of the furry friends. 

Ali and Ashlyn had just returned home from playing abroad in Germany. They were on loan for several months from the Pride and have just begun settling back into their house, preparing for the start of the fifth NWSL season. Ali had been traded to the Pride after the 2016 season ended and Ali and Ash had quietly wed before Thanksgiving. 

“Oh my god, Alex, there are three of them? What kind of puppies are these? They kind of look like mutts! Oh my god, Alex, come here, look how cute they are! Where do you think their Mom is? I hope she hasn’t run off into the street. Oh my god, Alex we have to go look for her!” Ashlyn rambles on, her voice half unadulterated excitement, half serious concern. 

“Ash, sweetie, take a breath” Ali replies trying to calm her wife. “We can take a look for their Mom as we drive these puppies to the shelter”. 

Ashlyn’s face immediately drops and she turns her head quickly, away from Ali. Ali is now sure that her wife is on the edge of tears. 

“Ash, babe, we aren’t here enough to take care of one puppy, let alone three. We also don’t know where they came from. They could be sick, Ash”

“Can we take them to the vet instead, Al? Can we do that first and see how they are? And then we can check the shelters to see if anyone found their mom? Please?” Ashlyn pleads, and Ali knows she won’t be able to say no to her big puppy. 

“Okay, let’s go” Ali agrees

Ali and Ashlyn load the puppies (who Ali thinks are already enormous) into the backseat. Ash tosses the keys to her wife and much to Ali’s dismay, Ash pops in the back to hold onto the three pups. 

After several hours, and hundreds of dollars, the puppies pass their check-ups with flying colors. Ali knows that Ashlyn has already fallen in love as she weighs the pros and cons. Her internal battle is already raging. On one hand, she does not want three dogs. On the other, she loves her wife. And that stupid dimple, the same dimple that is out in full force while she’s wrestling the puppies on the floor of the vet’s office. 

“So, ladies” the vet begins and Ali feels the dread in her stomach. “Will you be taking these little guys with you or should I call ahead to the shelter. It’s not pressure at all. Puppies tend to find homes a lot faster than older dogs, so I'm sure they won’t stick around for too long” the vet states.

Ashlyn looks up towards Ali, knowing that the choice remains with her wife. 

“Um, yeah, we are. We’re, uh, we’re going to keep them” Ali says almost uncertainly. 

Ashlyn, and consequently the puppies, jumps off the floor and runs to Ali, crushing her in a hug, peppering her face with kisses. “Thank you, thank you, thank you” Ash states repeatedly. Ali cannot help but smile at her overly-excited wife and the three puppies jumping and licking her legs. 

“Alright, well that’s wonderful news” the vet states. “I just need names and I can get all three registered for you”. 

“You can name them Alex, I don’t care as long as they’re ours” Ash says simply, love and admiration for her wife dripping from her voice. 

“Oh, okay, how about after the three stooges?” Ali shyly asks her wife. 

“I LOVE THAT, ALEX! That’s a great idea!” Ash responds with excitement. “Larry, Moe and Curly. We will have to get different colored collars for the beginning, until we can tell them apart, ya know?” Ashlyn states.

“Sure, honey” Ali can’t help but laugh. 

Six months later, during a bi-week in the season, Ashlyn heads off to a speaking engagement in Arizona for To Write Love On Her Arms. She is only gone a couple days, but Ali feels her wife’s presence in the house. She feels completely safe in the house alone with the three stooges roaming around. This is the first time she isn’t worried about turning the lights off at night. She doesn’t even feel the need to double check that the door is locked. Ali has always been a little paranoid about being alone- she became used to Ashlyn’s arms wrapped securely around her at night. The pups love playing with Ashlyn, and they are incredibly loyal to her, but they are fiercely protective of Ali. Ali can’t help but think Ashlyn trained them to be this way. 

The puppies, as Ash still calls them, are each over 70 pounds by the time they are two. They are the sweetest dogs, but Ali can’t help but worry about how they will react to the baby. Ali is now showing at four and a half months and the three stooges must sense that Ali is different. They take even better care of her- walking around and in front of her while she takes them to the park, lowly growling at anyone that approaches her around the neighborhood, even getting in the way of a flying basketball from a neighbor’s kid’s driveway game. Ashlyn isn’t worried though- her puppies will continue to protect her wife and will most certainly protect their daughter. 

Months later, after a successful delivery, and easy transition to home, Ali hears the baby crying from the blanket she was on in the living room. Then, all of a sudden, the crying stops. She sprints the ten steps from the kitchen to the living room, disregarding the plate she was washing to check on her daughter. And there, right before her eyes, are three 75-pound dogs, lying next to her daughter. They are soothing her, making her feel safe. And in that moment, she thinks back to the vet’s office, when she almost said no, and she is eternally grateful for the four sets of puppy dog eyes that beamed up at her. Her family- her wife, her daughter, and her three stooges- is all she will ever need.


	11. Chapter 11

“Hello? Ali, what’s wrong?” Deb asks frantically, jumping out of bed. 

“Sorry, Mom, nothing’s wrong. I'm sorry it’s so late, I’ll call back tomorrow. I'm sorry” Ali replies quietly. 

“No, baby, it’s okay. Tell me what’s going on. You know I won’t be able to get back to sleep if I don’t know” Deb responds softly as she leaves her bedroom to not disturb her sleeping husband. 

“How did you know you wanted to have a baby? Like that you were ready?” Ali asks her mom

“Ali, sweetie, why are you asking this? And why at 3 in the morning? Honey, what is really going on” Deb prods gently.

“Mom, every time I look at her face, I see her holding a baby. And every time she goes into the back yard, I see her pushing a kid on the swings. And every time she hugs me, Mom, I imagine her hugging our child. I can’t describe it. I just know that I want to make her a Mom” Ali rattles off quickly, almost embarrassed, but truly searching for an answer from her Mom. 

“Oh Ali, honey, you’re ready. There’s never necessarily a right time or a wrong time to have a baby. You and Ashlyn are the two most openly loving people I have ever met. Your relationship is strong and you’re both committed to raising good kids.” Deb finishes

“Mom, it’s scary though; how easily I would just walk away from the pitch, how quickly I would hang up my boots. The Olympics are just around the corner. And Mom, I would rather have a baby. What does that say about me? About my commitment to the team, to my lifelong dream?” Ali says as she swallows down a small sob. 

Deb laughs softly. “Alexandra, there is no greater commitment on this earth than becoming a Mother. It says that your heart is ready” Deb responds. 

“Mom?” Ali whispers

“Yes, honey?” 

“I am aching to be pregnant. I never imagined I would feel this way, but I, I don’t know, I just do” Ali states.

“What does Ash have to say about all this, love?” Deb asks

“Oh, um, I haven’t really told her. Not yet, at least. I just I wanted to make sure I was ready. Because I know, I just know, she’s ready too” Ali replies. 

“She is” Ali hears, but not through the phone. Ali quickly turns her head to the doorway where Ash is standing, sleep still evident in her voice. 

“Mom, I gotta go. Thank you” Ali says earnestly. 

“Any time, Ali, but honey? Could you two get married first?”

Ali laughs at her Mom’s request. “Yeah, of course, Mom” she replies before disconnecting. 

Ali stands up from the office chair and walks toward Ashlyn. Ashlyn is standing there with a smile on her face, reaching her arms out towards her girlfriend. As Ali makes contact, Ash pulls her in for a firm hug, the kind that makes Ali literally feel her love. 

“I’m sorry Ash. I probably should have talked to you first” Ali whispers sheepishly. 

“Nah, babe, it’s okay as long as you planned on including me at some point” Ashlyn responds cheekily. 

“I want to have a baby, Ash” Ali states while looking up into Ashlyn’s eyes.

“Me too, Alex. Really, really, me too” Ash responds, sealing her declaration with a quick kiss. 

Ashlyn leads Ali back into the bedroom and situates them both under the warm covers. She pulls Ali’s body into hers and begins rubbing small circles on her lower back. 

“Als, when do you want to get pregnant? Because I'm ready when you are. Nothing would make me happier than having a family with you. But, I need you to do a couple things first.” Ash says

“Okay, what do you need me to do?” Ali asks

“Win a gold medal and marry me. In that order, babe” Ash states matter-of-factly. 

Ali laughs quietly. “Okay, honey, in that order” Ali aggress easily. 

“Good. You’ll win a gold medal. Then we’ll get married. And then Alex… and then… “Ash says as she moves her body on top of Ali “I put a baby in you”

“I can’t wait, Mama” Ali replies with a heated kiss.


	12. Chapter 12

“Are you really sure that this is the best decision for you?” Crystal asks.

Ali snaps her head around from the box she was packing and looks immediately offended. “What do you mean is this the best decision for me?” Ali asks defensively, but also partly confused why her friend would be questioning this move. 

“Look, Kriegy-boo, we just won the NWSL championship and that’s a big deal! What if we can’t win it again without you? Won’t you feel like you’re letting down your hometown?” Crystal asks seriously.

“Are you really trying to guilt-trip me right now Crys? I spent four years here! And we won! And I’m happy and getting married and I seriously can’t believe you are trying to make me feel bad about taking this next step! Ashlyn is my world and my world is currently in Florida, so that’s where I’ll be when you decide you want to apologize” Ali states with conviction. 

Within a matter of seconds, Crystal launches herself on Ali, enveloping her in a hug. “Kriegs, honey boo, relax! I was COMPLETELY kidding. I'm just going to miss you, so I‘m giving you a hard time. But now I know not to mess with Ash or Mama Bear Krieger comes out!” Crystal retorts jokingly. 

Ali sees Crystal’s face and relaxes immediately, but she still eyes her suspiciously. 

“I swear, Ali, I am 100% supportive! You know I love me some Krashlyn!” Crystal says emphatically as she crosses her heart with her finger. 

“Okay, well, keep packing since you’re 100% supportive” Ali answers back playfully. 

That night, as Ali lies on her air mattress (the bed has already been shipped down to Florida for the guest room), she thinks about what Crystal had said. No one had ever challenged her decision to move to Florida, to be traded to the Pride, to marry Ashlyn before today. As she replayed her response, she realized quickly that this was simply the easiest decision she has ever made. She would defend it until the end of her days. She knows, of course, there will be backlash from fans, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters to her but waking up next to the love of her life, her future wife, the mother of her future babies. Yeah, she thinks, her whole world is in Florida, just waiting for her.


	13. Chapter 13

“That sick man, he opened fire, Alex, in Orlando, where we live!” Ashlyn cried to Ali over the phone. 

“I know, baby, I know. I’m devastated, but I’m done hiding.” she responded to Ashlyn. 

“Alex, I'm really sad.” 

“Me too, but Thursday is our day baby” Ali stated back to Ash, hoping to help lighten the conversation. 

“I can’t wait. I love you, Al. So much, so, so much” Ashlyn said

“I love you too, Ash and I'm proud of us. I just need you to know that.” Ali replied. 

“I know” Ash hummed back, already picturing holding her girlfriend in her mind. 

The next morning, Ashlyn reposts Ali’s picture. She is lucky to always feel Ali’s love and she considers herself even luckier to return it. Loving Ali is the greatest accomplishment Ash can name. It really is simple: love, not hate.


End file.
